I enjoyed my first Mother's Day yesterday. Nothing big happened. Just a nice day with my boys and some time with friends here and there but nothing out of the ordinary.
I can't believe I am a mom some days. I amazed of this life that I have the responsibility to take care of. I enjoy my son's every moment. His laughs, his cries, when he wakes and when he sleeps. I enjoy seeing his eyes light up when something excites him.
Being a woman is difficult at times. There is this strength we feel like we need to maintain. There is this persona that we need to portray.
For instance, when I went back to work, the first 2 weeks I wanted to just be home with my son. Now that I have been at work for a few months now, I love that I have this time to be with other adults and that I get a break from being mommy. Some moms may feel horrible to admit that but it's true. As woman, we feel like we need to remain strong, we can't show our faults and show our fears because once we do... we feel that people will judge us and offer advice we didn't ask for.
As a mom, once we show a little bit of weakness or share a the struggle of adjusting to life with a child we feel as if people aren't as supportive and try to fix things which then makes you feel worse. There are days where trying to be a mother AND a wife are tough some days and there are times where people take that as a sign of a failing marriage. Some of us struggle with insecurity and we try to mask that with proving our worth in our child, in our work, and sometimes in our faith. We try to prove our worth when we know we do not need to. There are times, when being with other moms, you hear about their perfect life, their perfect marriage, their perfect child and you think to yourself... "it's really not that easy right?!?!" Once we have kids, some of us feel that our dreams are ending that we may not be able to pursue them.
This year has taught me a lot about me, who I want to be and how I can be an encouragement to not just other moms but just women. We live in a society where judgement is easier than encouragement. People will compete with you and feel threaten by you for your gifts and talents but you can't let them keep you down... you have to keep moving. There will be times where I need to cling to God in knowing what is best for my son regardless what others are saying or doing. The dreams that I have will come true as long as they are what God wants, and I am ok with that. Without God, I wouldn't be able to get through a lot of the things I talked about. I am a work in progress, I am bound to fail, get hurt and be disappointed but I will never give up and I will never lose focus. God made me perfect. I believe that wholeheartedly.
To all the women out there, you are beautiful, you are loved, you are created perfectly in the image of our Savior. The world may be against you but our Savior is for you and you are never alone.
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