LIFE

As many of you guys know already, on our trip to Singapore, Vietnam and Thailand, Ezra got pretty sick and ended up being admitted in the hospital in Singapore [thank goodness it was in Singapore]. It was definitely an emotionally and physically draining for Billy and I. We were in another country with a sick baby. We were scattered and did not know what to do. I felt pretty helpless. I had a vomiting baby who at some point refused to eat. It was just really hard. 

We had plan this trip to go to Vietnam to see family and to go to Thailand as a mini missions trip as a family with billy's brothers. I was excited to go back to Thailand. God changed my heart being there 7 years ago. Thailand always had a piece of my heart. So I was extremely excited to see some familiar faces and to share this with my family. But weeks before the trip, I knew that God had something amazing waiting for us in Thailand. As time got closer, I knew in my heart that we NEEDED to be there. 

Because of this, Billy and I both thought to ourselves, "Is this happening because we are going to Thailand?!" When we both realized we were thinking the same thing, it was a confirmation. I prayed and fasted over Ezra and prayed and fasted for myself. How our prayers have changed during this time and how my heart was so desperate to hear and see the work of my Father. 

One night I fasted and sat to listen to God. He told me to read John 4. As I started reading, I immediately doubted that this was for me until I got to the end where Jesus heals the official's son. I broke down and I heard God say to me, "You are first my daughter, then you are a wife and then you are a mother". I knew instantly that we had to still go to Thailand. Still hesitant, I went in faith. 

After 3 days in the hospital, 2 days on a drip, Ezra was on the road to recovery! He lost so much weight from this ordeal [but is eating like a monster now]! So we went to Thailand and the pictures will speak for themselves...

My heart breaks. Seeing this and hearing stories about children being sold to trafficking. Walking past shacks in which people call home. This is our world and this is God's people. I was blessed to have taken Ezra to be a part of this. Though He may be young but he will hear of the story of how God healed him and was able to be a part of God's work. I always dreamed of doing this with my family and it's been amazing to see how God made it happen. Things that we saw and people that we met will forever change us. God is doing great things and we were so blessed to see the work of his Hands in action.

During the duration of this trip, the word LIFE came to my mind repeatedly and it wasn't until I got back from Thailand that I was able to process it. There is no doubt that I love God... but God is calling me to not only love but to LIVE Him... I needed to live God. I realized that for so long now as a Christian, I have been able to tell the world that I love Him. I may have been able to show that love to other people. But now I needed to put that talk into MORE action. 

If we understand what it means to live God, we would not have to say ONE word to let people know we love Jesus. We would not be irritated at a brother or sister who have wronged us or other people. We would not walk with Christian pride soliciting advice to other people. We would not need to prove ourselves to the world. We would not need to be self-righteous with our faith. We would not need to have the last word. We would not need to validate our character.  But to know what it means to live God is to love everything that God loves. It means that we don't get to pick and choose who to be nice to. It means that we do not get to compromise what is right and what is wrong. It means that we have compassion for ALL people. It means that we should be selfless, humble and willing to serve. It means that we listen more and that we love unconditionally. It means that we put others before ourself. It means we know who we are in Christ. It means that we do not need to prove our faith because we are living our faith. Actions are better than words. 

After this trip, it's hard to not rely on God. He has blessed us so much and has continue to bless us tremendously. Our family would not be anything without Him. 

Everyone knows for Lent that I always pick up something. I never participated in Lent really until my 20's when I fully understood Lent. My God has died on the cross for my sins. He paid the ultimate price for me. Today I read this article about Ash Wednesday and this is a great snippet from what I read...

"What I value most about Ash Wednesday worship services is the chance for us all to openly acknowledge our frailty and sinfulness. In a world that often expects us to be perfect, Ash Wednesday gives us an opportunity to freely confess our imperfections. We can let down our pretenses and be truly honest with each other about who we are. We all bear the mark of sin, from the youngest babies to the oldest seniors. We all stand guilty before a holy God. We all are mortal and will someday experience bodily death. Thus we all need a Savior."

For Lent, we are doing it as a family. We will read the bible for 40 days. Even Ezra will get his share of it :). In order for me to Live Jesus... I really need to spend time with Jesus. I can't keep telling people about how much I love Him, I really need to live it out. They say it takes 30 days to create a habit... but I am taking these 40 days to build a stronger relationship that will carry with me forever.

Thank you friends and family that prayed in our favor when we felt like we couldn't do it anymore. Your prayers helped us get through some tough times! Here are some more pictures from our trip!