Boy oh BOY!

This year has been flying by! The verse that comes to mind that brings it all home is James 1:12...

"Blessed are those who persevere under trial, because when they have stood the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."

Today marks my 27th week of carrying this sweet baby boy. This also marks the beginning of my 3rd trimester. As well as the beginning of Lent. The 3 being on the same day for me is something special.

I haven't share too much on places like Facebook about this blessing growing inside... some things should just be left between close friends and family. =) But this blog was created for my son and my future children. I started this blog to have something for them to be able to get a recap on the life of their mother. What I was thinking, how I feeling and how God has been working.

When my dad passed away, I remembered the talks I have with my dad and the feeling of  "there is so much more to this man I called dad" and I wish that I had more time to get to know more of his thoughts, decisions he made, the things that happened and how he saw his life in this world. All the things and advice that he shared with me, I hold very dear to my heart.

My son will never met his grandpa, who would have shown him love like no other, but he will know everything about this great man and why I love him so much. I already think to myself  "I wish he was here" and I can picture this smile that he had that just lights up his whole face when he was really happy. He would have been so proud.

How blessed this baby boy will be surrounded by loving family and friends. I have been so blessed beyond words and just to know that this baby will grow up being loved by these people in my life... I couldn't have asked for anything more.

The last 6 months of carrying this miracle and blessing have not gone unnoticed. The times that I have had with God in regards to my responsibility to raise this boy the way He has planned and to live life leaving a legacy that has been passed on by God, by my dad, by billy's dad, by billy and now through this baby. This is beyond billy and I, it's all God.

A dear friend once told me, "No one can love this child more than God will love him." That is the reality of it all. We didn't plan to have this baby so soon but we were always open to God's plans for us. This was in His plan and we are so humble to partake in this new journey with Him.

Which leads me back to the verse... persevering under trial. I feel like I have been doing that all my life. I did it not because I was looking for a reward in the end or even to have it be a bit easier... I persevered because of who and what I believed. I persevered because I love my God and knowing that my God loves me was all enough reason to keep going when nothing makes sense. Life was always hard and some seasons were unbearable but I held onto the hope that His plans are perfect. That was all I needed.

So this day is really special to me. Though my time being pregnant has been easy sailing, it is starting to get harder. I am not really asking for Him to take the pain and uncomfortable feelings away but to help me deal with it. The reason why we recognize and participate in Lent at all is because of Him. God reminds me that, "It will not be easy the next few months but I will get you through it ... like I always have with everything you go through."

For Lent, I rarely give up anything because I feel, for the most part, the giving up is easy but the discipline to take on something is a bit harder for me. I realized 2 things, I need to listen and pray more. So this lent I will pick up what I did a few years back and pray for a person that God has placed in my mind to pray for and let them know that I prayed for them. As well as listen to God and what he has to say to me and keep records of that. 2 things that a lot of us "say" we do but do not do enough. It's also my way to get to know God even more so that I don't feel, like I did with my earthly father, that I didn't know Him enough or didn't have enough time to get to know Him more. I don't want to do that with God only because I see the impact that he has on my life and realized how much more of an impact it could be if I got to know Him more.

This gift of life, for both me and my son, should not be taken for granted. As this year continues to flies by, I continue to appreciate more and more that my God gave up His son for me...

I leave you with a picture of the baby's foot =) because my prayer from the beginning is that God will shine through him wherever his feet take him.