Eye On The Prize

Someone reminded me that I haven't blogged in awhile and that so much has happened that a blog is needed... (Thanks, Greg). :)

A lot has happened since this blog entry HERE

It hasn't been a full year yet and I am floored and overwhelmed by the blessing and doors that keep opening up.

As you some of you or hopefully all of you may know that SWEET BRIGADE launched on Mother's Day. When I quit my job to work for free at Chez TJ, my goal was always Sweet Brigade. Sweet Brigade combines my love for baking and my heart for social justice! I struggled to figure out how to do both and God just made it all work in his perfect timing.

Although, I have launched in May officially, I have been incredibly busy and amazed that it has picked up so much and so fast! Much more than that I can even imagine. When I think and feel like I am not capable of doing this and is what I am doing right... He brings comfort and reminds me that this is it!

Since my last post in December, I left Chez TJ and wanted to get more elsewhere. I was thinking of going to another restaurant because I wanted to be able to get more experience for another pastry chef. I also in September of last year was put on the wait list of a pastry and baking program in San Francisco. I was not hopeful with this because the program only accepts 15 students and I was 15th on the wait list. That means that 15 people in the class needed to drop in order for me to get into the class.

my first plated dessert creation : vietnamese coffee mousse with cocoa nib crumble and condense milk

Come January, the first day of class was coming up and I didn't even want to drive all the way to San Francisco at 4:30 am in the morning to just be denied. But Billy told me to go so I listened to my wise husband. Long story short... I had no shot of getting into the class but no one on the waitlist came but me and another girl. 2 people dropped and I made it in! Till this day, my pastry chef is still shocked I made it in the class and she tells me everyday that the heavens knew that I was mean't to be here.

So since January - May, I have been waking up everyday, monday - friday at 4:30 am to make it up to San Francisco for a 6 hour class. God wanted me there and I am so glad I am there. Even though my days are crazy and I could have gone through the non-culinary route... I see why being in pastry school is such a benefit. I love my program. I love the technique and skills I am learning. I am totally soaking it all up. The other awesome thing is why this program is such a desired program is that is it FREE!!!

So within a year, I quit my job, worked in a michelin star restaurant, got into pastry school and started my own bakeshop. It's a crazy thing and how could I not say that God does not exist.

Though to all this may seem like a dream come true and I am living my dream, it comes with a lot of struggle. I struggle a lot about if I am good enough and if what I am doing is right. I have to address people who are competing with me and copying things I make. I struggle with living in the Silicon Valley and having talks about how I can make more money. I get suggestions about how my business should run. All these things I didn't think I would have to face or deal with.

Some of this is good and some of it is not so good. Recently, I just felt a sense of insecurity and a sense of guarding my skill and character sometimes. Then Jesus tells me, "Keep your eye on the prize." The prize to me is to focus on my art and get better and better but I am also reminded that I bake for a reason. I am not baking to be rich or make it on TV. I am not baking to be the best... I am baking to help empower people. I am baking to make a difference. There will always be someone better. There will be people taking what I do as their own. I can't compete... I just surrender to Him and be used to do what God has started and follow Him. My eyes can't wander and I need to fix my eye on the prize, I need to make sure that people can see my heart in what I make. That is all I want.

Thank you friends and family for pushing and encouraging me to push on. Without you guys... Sweet Brigade would continue to be a dream that I would be too afraid to chase. Your encouragement have given me strength and courage to do this!

Pray for Sweet Brigade. Pray for me to be humble in the skill God has given me. Pray for Sweet Brigade to be what God wants it to be. It is not a "christian" company but I will not deny that it is the work of God.